The Crate of Thunder

Objectives

Every good brief and debrief begins and ends with a solid set of objectives.  In the finest traditions of the fighter pilot’s world, this site should be no different.  Good objectives are specific, measurable, and attainable.  So, with a good hack, I welcome you to The Crate of Thunder, and turn immediately to our objectives…

Effectively Target Ludicrousness, Absurdity, and Buffoonery in the Air Force, the Military, and in the World Around Us

            The choice of the verb target may seem to lack some of the specificity required of a good objective.  “Zero,” you might say, “you’re being fairly broad with your purposes by using such a vague term for what you espouse (ten dollar word, but only two syllables… passes the fighter pilot test) to do with this site.”  To which I reply, true, but targeting remains an initial step in engagement, and I intend to target anything and everything which I see fit to engage. 

In other words, to steal from the site that started it all… everyone’s a target.  Now quit quibbling over minutia.  And pay attention, I have the pens and I’m still briefing this fight. 

Provide a Forum for Cynical Satirists Who Still Care

            The Bird said it best, and I firmly and wholeheartedly believe it to be true…

The cynical ones are the ones who still care. 

The Powers That Be (PTB) will never understand that fact.  They label us cynics and satirists as a “cancer,” and consider us a threat to good order and discipline.  They cannot fathom the fact that someone who truly believes in the mission could ever even consider raising a dissenting opinion against the mainstream flow.  They surround themselves with yes-men and politically minded staff monkeys, and thereby lose touch with the “really- real world.”  The Bird got it right.  We still care.  And, because we care, we care enough to write about it.  We care enough to take the time to pen the ‘toons and craft the satire that casts light upon the absurdity of one of the most noblest professions and highlights the insanity that permeates the application of said professionalism.  And guess what?

Sometimes we’re flat out wrong.

But, we’re willing to take it on the chin and admit it.  FIDO, as the old sayings went.  But, we’ve also recognized the great leaders who have encouraged our brand of satire and comedy.  Those leaders have had a no-shit finger on the pulse of an organization, and knew how to adjust vectors properly.  They were, and are, the type of leaders who could rally fellow professionals to follow them to the very gates of Hell itself without a second thought.  And they didn’t take themselves so seriously as to lose the ability to laugh at themselves.  One of the greatest Hawgdrivers and warriors I’d ever met put it to me like this.  “You have to stir the pot occasionally to keep the turds from continuously rising to the top of the punch bowl.” 

Truer words have rarely been spoken. 

Fight’s on!

Have Fun

            Yeah… right.  I know- this falls into the category of the “4 up, 4 down; no frat” objectives that turn the Weapons Officer’s face the deepest shade of scarlet you’ve seen since you blurted out the expletive in front of  your momma.  However, in all seriousness, that’s why this site is here.  If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth doing.  Sure, there’ll be some serious seriousness, but most of the ‘toonage will be done in jest.  And I’m sure I’m going to ruffle some feathers, and someone’s going to get their ass in a sling over something someone posts on this site.  Fine.  Great.  I expect it.  The best commanders I’ve had have encouraged my work, and enjoyed my satire, even when they’ve borne the brunt of the jokes.  (Is there an echo in here?)  Honest and good satire demonstrates the true heart and soul of a unit, and in this artist’s opinion, should be an encouraged forum for members to release steam and vent.  Commanders should worry when their troops stop bitching… that’s an axiom that has remained as constant as our desire to continuously wage warfare against one another. 

I do believe that this motherhood brief has gone on long enough.  You get the picture. 

“Hot gun, no limit, pull the pins and chocks… we’re outta here!”